


definitely not a thing

by claypigeons



Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: ? maybe ? it's mostly just that johnny's an idiot, Feelings Realization, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, i don't know when this takes place leave me be, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29628237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/claypigeons/pseuds/claypigeons
Summary: "Who cares? Everyone is into chicks and dudes in high school. I was, and I’m a badass, so.” Johnny leaned back in his chair and took a drink. This mentor shit was easy.Miguel, surprisingly, did not look reassured.
Relationships: Daniel LaRusso/Johnny Lawrence
Comments: 10
Kudos: 143





	definitely not a thing

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in a day in the google docs app on my phone i hate it here

Johnny was cleaning up after the evening class when Miguel offered to stick around and help. On its own, that wasn’t that strange - sometimes he got rides home from Johnny, and the kid was freakishly polite anyways - but he’d seemed distracted all day, and even now he looked like he was trying to make up his mind about something. Johnny didn’t push it, mostly because he lived in fear of being forced to listen to more teenage bullshit than he had to deal with on a regular basis, and he left Miguel out on the mat while he went into the back to grab a beer. When he stood up from the minifridge and turned around, Miguel was standing in the doorway of the office, looking nervous and startling the shit out of Johnny. 

“Sensei,” Miguel started, and then sighed. 

Johnny, who - despite what everyone might think - could in fact tell when a situation was serious, sat down and gestured at the chair across from him, adding, “Have a seat, kid,” while he took another beer from the fridge and set it in front of Miguel, who rolled his eyes and didn’t touch it. 

“Sensei,” he started again, “Can I tell you something?” Johnny nodded, but Miguel still looked nervous. “It’s just, it’s kind of personal? And I know you think feelings are, like, stupid, and I really don’t want to weird you out, but this is important to me, and I didn’t know who else -”

“For God’s sake, Diaz,” Johnny cut him off. “Spit it out.” 

Miguel took a deep breath. “Okay,” he said, “Here it goes. Sensei, I’m bi.” 

Johnny blinked. He knew he’d heard that word, or some version of it, but honestly there were so many goddamn things to keep track of these days that he’d just sort of filtered it out. Miguel seemed like he was waiting for a response, so Johnny tried to say something. “Oh,” he said, “That’s...good?”

Miguel narrowed his eyes. “You don’t know what that means, do you?” While Johnny tried to mumble some vague excuse and/or possible definition, Miguel just sighed and rolled his eyes. “It means I like guys and girls, sensei.” 

“Oh.” Johnny cut himself off mid-ramble, unsure of what to say. And sure, it was kind of weird that he was talking about it like it was a thing, but Miguel still looked like he was about to maybe pass out or bolt, so Johnny expected something else to follow. Nothing did. “Okay,” Johnny said slowly, “Well...so?”

Miguel frowned, looking like he couldn’t decide whether to be pissed off or relieved. “What do you mean, ‘so?’” He used aggressive air quotes. “You mean you don’t care?”

Johnny, perplexed, frowned back. “I mean,” he said, “No? Everyone is into chicks and dudes in high school.” He snorts. “I was, and I’m a badass, so.” He leaned back in his chair and took a drink. This mentor shit was easy. 

Miguel, surprisingly, did not look reassured. He actually seemed more agitated and confused somehow, sitting up straight in his chair and leaning forward. “You -” he paused and shook his head. “You liked guys? In high school?”

Johnny shrugged, mentally patting himself on the back for holding back a _duh_. 

“You know, that’s not,” Miguel looked like he was thinking hard, “That’s not, like, the default? Like that’s not just, part of the teenage experience? Liking guys and girls?” 

Johnny raised an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure it is, Diaz,” he said, slowly. Miguel opened his mouth like he had something to add, but Johnny figured his job was pretty much done and he didn’t really need a high schooler telling him, an adult, about what was and wasn’t normal. He stood up, cracking his back loudly to cut off any potential comments. “You need a ride home or what, kid?” 

“Sure,” Miguel said, looking like he was going to combust. He stood up and grabbed his bag and his shoes and Johnny heard him muttering something he couldn’t make out while they headed out to the car. He blasted ACDC for the short drive back to the apartment complex, and Miguel was quiet when they pulled into the parking lot. Johnny was out of the car and almost at his door when Miguel popped up at his shoulder. 

“You know,” he said, while Johnny fumbled with his keys, “This whole…” he leaned in and whispered, “‘Liking guys’ business? You really should think about it. Like, I don’t know how to tell you this, but that’s not just. A thing.” 

Johnny rolled his eyes and opened his door, tossing “I’m not gay, Diaz,” over his shoulder. “I have a kid, remember?” Low blow, maybe, but it did prove his point. 

Miguel let out a frustrated groan. “That’s the whole thing, though, is it’s not just one or the other, you should really -”

Johnny cut him off with a “See you tomorrow Diaz,” and shut the door in his face. 

***

Johnny was at a bar with Larusso having drinks, because that was something they did now, apparently. Originally, it had been a sort of weekly meeting; Johnny would take Robby over to the Larussos’s for dinner on a night when Daniel had the kids, some sort of effort to make nice. To Johnny’s endless annoyance, it had actually worked - Robby and little Larusso were friends now, and Larusso apparently thought they’d reached a point where he and Johnny could start getting drinks together. And yeah, Johnny went along with it, but only because Daniel always picked up the tab - honest. 

Daniel was in the middle of saying something when Johnny remembered his conversation with Miguel. He waited politely for Daniel to finish whatever sentence he was in the middle of - something about pants? or shoes? - before butting in with, “Hey, were you into dudes in high school?”

Daniel choked mid-sip of his martini. He slammed the glass down on the table and when he’d stopped coughing, he leveled Johnny with an absolutely incredulous look. If Johnny didn’t know better, he’d say Larusso was looking flustered, maybe even nervous. “Johnny,” he said, “What the hell?”

“In high school,” Johnny said slowly, like Daniel was stupid, “Did you like dudes?” 

Daniel blinked. “What” he stuttered, “Of all the - Did I…” he trailed off as a look of realization flashed across his face. “Wait a minute,” he said, too loud, “Did _you_?”

“Keep your voice down, Danielle,” Johnny grumbled, “And I asked you first.”

“Why do you care?”

“Answer the question, Larusso.”

Daniel ran a hand over his face and fiddled with the stem of his glass, looking away from Johnny. After a few seconds, he took a deep breath and said, “Yes, Johnny, I ‘like dudes.’” He turned back to look at Johnny while he did the air quotes, which would’ve irritated Johnny if he wasn’t too busy feeling smug. 

“I knew it,” he said, ignoring the look of disbelief and horror that passed over Larusso’s face, “Me, one, Diaz, zero.” 

Daniel bristled. “What does that mean?” He frowned. “Are you - did you talk about me to your students? Why -”

“What?” Johnny said. “No. Believe me, you’re not interesting enough for that.”

Daniel closed his eyes and did what looked like some of his bullshit zen breathing. Johnny snapped his bottle cap at him, hitting him right in the forehead. Daniel’s eyes shot open to glare. Absently rubbing his forehead - _Point, Lawrence_ \- he said, “Look, can we just back up a second?” Johnny made a _go ahead_ gesture. “Why are you asking me this?”

“It came up earlier,” Johnny said, “I was talking to Diaz and…” he still didn’t think it was anything, but Miguel had told him like it was a secret, and he didn’t want to fuck that up somehow, so he continued vaguely, “He mentioned something, I think it started with a ‘b’? Anyways, he claims that liking chicks and dudes in high school is not, quote, ‘just part of the teenage experience,’ so I was double checking.” 

Daniel dropped his head into his hands and mumbled something that sounded like “Fucking unbelievable” before looking at Johnny again. His hair was sticking up where he’d run his fingers through it. Johnny made a mental note to mess Larusso’s hair up more often. 

“Listen, Johnny,” Daniel started, “There are...so many things to circle back to here. But Miguel is right. It’s not like everyone just likes girls and guys when they’re a teenager.” 

Johnny frowned. “You just said you did,” he pointed out. “One drink already throwing you off your game, Danielle?” 

Daniel was looking at Johnny like he was an idiot, which was completely unfair given the conversation they were having. “I do,” he said slowly, “But I really think you’re missing the point-” he cut himself off when his phone buzzed on the table. While he was reading whatever had popped up on his screen, Johnny suddenly realized something with a start. 

“Wait, wait,” he said, leaning forward, suddenly much more invested in hearing Larusso out, “You ‘do’? Like, present tense?”

Daniel paused whatever he was doing and leveled Johnny with a look that he wasn’t quite sure how to interpret. “Yes,” he said, “Like present tense,” and then he was back to typing on his phone, like he hadn’t just obliterated Johnny’s sanity. 

Johnny nodded to himself, tried to play it cool. It was fine, he reasoned, he was going to react to this normal information like a normal person and it wouldn’t turn into a thing, because honestly? If he and Larusso had any more things between them, something would probably snap. Daniel was starting to stand, saying something about picking Sam up, and Johnny tried to think of something neutral to say. He settled on: “Well, you...look normal?” 

Daniel brought his hand up to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Gee,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm, “Thank you.” He sighed. “I gotta go, Johnny.” Before Johnny could respond, Larusso had left a twenty on the table and was out the door. 

***

Miguel looked like he was maybe going to have an aneurysm. He dropped his head in his hands and mumbled something in Spanish and Johnny didn’t know if he should be concerned or not. He was kind of beginning to doubt his ability to judge things accurately. 

They were in the office of the dojo again. Johnny had been bugged all day (and most of the previous night, not that he would admit it) about his conversation with Larusso. So many things that had made perfect sense before were starting to slip out of place - like, maybe people didn’t talk about being...high? Or whatever in high school because it really wasn’t a thing. And that maybe there was a reason that kid sophomore year got his ass kicked so bad he had to go to the hospital, because if it was how everyone was, who would care, right? And maybe there was a reason Larusso had scared him so badly back then, even before the tournament and all the other shit, when he didn’t even register on Johnny’s radar as a physical threat - but he squashed that line of thought even quicker than he’d tried to stop all the others. 

In any case, here he was, sitting across from Miguel who had looked exasperated since the minute Johnny started relaying his and Daniel’s conversation of the previous day, because, really, what the hell?

Eventually, Miguel raised his head and looked Johnny in the eye again. “Sensei,” he said, “Honestly? I’m not sure I can help you here, I really think you should talk to Mr. Laru-”

“No way, kid,” Johnny cut him off. “I go over there and don’t know what I’m talking about he’ll get the wrong idea and it’ll be another thing he just holds over me.” On some level, he knew that doing that would be kind of stupid and make Larusso a hypocrite more than anything, but he also knew that Larusso was a dick, so. 

“Okay,” Miguel said, “So what’s the right idea?”

Johnny shrugged. “You tell me, kid.” Miguel instantly looked irritated, so Johnny preemptively cut him off, saying “Look, before you lecture me, I tried the google for this, but you would not believe the shit that came up. I can’t believe they let kids use technology. There was this one -”

“Okay!” Miguel sounded shrill and kind of panicked. “Okay, I get it, I’ll try to help.” He took a deep breath. “First of all, I guess, do you like being around him? I honestly can’t tell.”  
Johnny frowned. “‘Him’ who?”

Miguel frowned back even harder. “Mr. Larusso?”

“What the hell does he have to do with this?” Johnny asked. 

“Sensei,” Miguel said, looking like he was trying very hard not to give up and walk out of the room, “You’ve been talking about him for the last hour.”

“No,” Johnny said slowly, “I’ve been talking about myself for the past hour.”  
Miguel groaned. “Look,” he said, “Will you please just trust me and answer the questions?”

“Fine,” Johnny grumbled. He thought about spending time with Larusso, arguing over drinks and hanging out while Robby and little Larusso watched TV or whatever. He couldn’t think of a single time they didn’t bicker when they were together - or, you know, got into actual fights that ended with broken furniture. He knew he should say no. He looked at the ceiling. “Yes,” he said forcefully, like that would make it sound less lame. 

“Okay, next question,” Miguel said. “Do you feel like he gets you? Like, understands you. Or that you get him, or whatever.” 

Johnny immediately opened his mouth to say no, but something nagged at him, maybe the way they’d met each other halfway on the beach all those years ago or maybe some Miyagi bullshit Daniel had said to him once, drunk off his ass, mumbling something about _different but same_. Johnny crossed his arms. “I guess,” he said, trying to sound as unhappy as possible about it. 

“Last question,” Miguel said, sounding uncomfortable, “And I just want you to know I want to ask it less than you want to answer it, but I kind of can’t tell if you guys just have a really weird intense friendship rivalry thing? And there’s pretty much just one thing that -”

“Diaz,” Johnny snapped, lowering his gaze, even though he suspected he knew what was coming, both the question and the answer, even though he mostly wanted to call the whole thing off and sprint out of the room. _No fear_ , he reminded himself. 

“Okay, here goes.” Miguel cleared his throat. “Are you...attracted to him?” He made a face like the question pained him to ask, and yeah, Johnny sort of agreed. 

Even though he knew it was sort of (extremely) counterproductive to the cause, Johnny tried to suppress every thought that started bubbling up, including some dreams in the 80s that he did not have and some dreams in the last few months that he _definitely_ did not have, the sound of Larusso calling him _John_ , shaking his hand that first meeting and looking so happy to see him when he didn’t deserve it, how he still wanted Johnny around even though they’d done nothing but tear each other apart, the way his hair looked when he got frustrated enough that he ran his hands through it. 

“Shit,” Johnny said, and dropped his head onto the desk.

Miguel made a noise that sounded sympathetic but also kind of grossed out. Without raising his head, Johnny said, “It’s fine, Diaz. You’re free to go.”

“Oh,” he said, and Johnny could sense him shifting in his seat. “You sure you don’t need me to stick around? Talk things out?”

Johnny raised his head and raised an eyebrow at Miguel. “No, Diaz,” he said, “I do not need to ‘talk it out.’ Get out of here.” Miguel thanked him and rushed out the door like he was worried Johnny would change his mind and call him back in. 

Johnny weighed his options. On one (very tempting) hand, he could just go back to his apartment and get plastered and try to resume repressing the shit out of everything - _because that’s worked great so far_ a voice from the back of his mind chimed in. On the other hand...Miguel was probably right that he should go talk to Larusso. Johnny had a feeling that he would be maybe the only person on the planet who wouldn’t cut Johnny out of his life on principle, which - _Do you feel like he gets you_? Miguel had asked and with no small amount of irritation Johnny realized that he really, really did. 

On the way to the car Johnny considered calling Larusso, giving him a heads up, but decided against it, figuring that this way if he pussied out he could just do it without anyone even knowing. Besides, it was 8pm on a Thursday, which meant that the little Larussos were with Amanda (why the _fuck_ did Johnny know their schedule?), and Larusso himself wouldn’t be anywhere besides his stupid dojo. 

The drive didn’t take as long as Johnny thought it would. He pounded on the door and Larusso opened it wearing - God help him - sweatpants and a t-shirt. He looked confused, and Johnny was silent for long enough that his look started to morph into concern. “Hey,” he said eventually, “Are you alright?”  
Johnny realized he hadn’t thought of anything to say, didn’t have any kind of plan. Larusso was frowning slightly, looking at him intently, and his hair was slightly ruffled and the porch light sort of made it look like he was glowing, yellow light reflecting in his stupid fucking Bambi eyes that Johnny was finally letting himself really notice. Johnny told himself strike first, which he might’ve said out loud based on the way Larusso was starting to ask him something, but then Johnny was stepping into his space and putting a hand on his cheek and slotting their lips together and all that came out of Larusso’s mouth was a surprised noise that transitioned easily into a sigh. When they pulled apart, Larusso had a soft look on his face, confused but also unbearably fond. 

“So,” Johnny said, and cleared his throat when his voice came out hoarse, “I’ve done some thinking, and you and Miguel may not be as full of shit as I initially thought.” 

Daniel smiled. “Yeah?” he asked. 

“Yeah” - Johnny tried to smirk but he suspected it came out more like something sappy and sincere - “But I figured there’s one way to find out, so.” He shrugged.  
Daniel raised his eyebrows and said, “So, what’s the verdict?”

Johnny leaned against the door frame and played it cool. “I don’t know,” he said with a shrug, “I think I might have to run some more tests.” He cracked almost immediately into a face-splitting grin. 

Daniel laughed and said something that sounded like, “You’re such an asshole,” but then his lips were back on Johnny’s and everything that wasn’t Daniel sort of faded into background noise as he pulled Johnny into the house. Johnny kicked the front door shut behind them.

 _Thank god Diaz is so much smarter than me_ , he thought, and then for a long time he was too preoccupied to think anything at all.

**Author's Note:**

> this is....not good but it plagued me until i wrote it so. hope you enjoyed?


End file.
